What Are You, Blind?

6/15/06


This isn't really a rag on President Bush; this is just a funny thing that happened. I give the guy enough crap and this thing was just one of those foot-in-mouth deals where you're trying to be funny only to discover you're inadvertently being a real cock.

Yesterday at a press conference in the Rose Garden (in front of more American flags than a V.A. lounge) after Bush returned from his wild, spontaneous 6-hour trip to Baghdad, the POTUS* was doing his affable, freewheeling Texan with a sense of humor routine with the reporters, ducking and jiving and just generally showing some "good ol' boy" levity. Now, I think Bush is probably a pretty likable guy in person, and probably kinda funny, but in impromptu, public forums his humor strikes me as a little desperate and forced. So it was only a little weird when he called on Peter Wallsten of the LA Times and said,

"Are you going to ask that question with the shades on?"

Wallsten, who was, in fact, wearing shades, replied with a grin, "I can take them off."

Bush still being jokey, not a prick, said, "I'm interested in the shade look. Seriously."

"All right, I'll keep it, then," said Wallsten.

Bush, addressing the cameras, said, "For the viewers, there is no sun." That was actually pretty funny.

"I guess it depends on your perspective," said Wallsten, still smiling, though clearly a touch uncomfortable.

"Touché," finished Bush, ending the banter and listening to Wallstens question about über-demon and staggeringly un-indicted Karl Rove.

So no big deal, right? A little creepy and not terribly funny but hey, the Prez was in high spirits. Well, the foot-in-mouth part comes when you take into account that Wallsten is legally blind. Ha-ha! Now that is funny! Wallsten has a retinal disease (Stargardt's Disease) for which he wears sunglasses to slow the progress of degeneration.

Like I said, not Bush's fault, but pretty damn funny. As a person who has, on more than one occasion, inserted my pied directly into my bouche, I can relate, and since it's Bush, who is so woefully awful at off-the-cuff banter, it's doubly hilarious.

Bush apologized today and there were no hard feelings from Wallsten, but whenever the President was informed of the gaffe, I'll wager he felt a little like I did when, at a family gathering, my father took me aside and explained precisely why it was inappropriate to go around tickling people in their crotch underneath the dinner table. But, to be fair, I was like 6.

I still enjoy tickling privates, but I mostly stick to those outside my family now.



*that's President Of The United States, to you and me, pard!