Metrosexual; The Continuing Pussification Of the American Male

4/19/06


We've all seen it. Hell, sometimes it's even kind of amusing. I know for my part I quite enjoyed Everybody Loves Raymond and, to a lesser and somewhat guilty extent, King of Queens. The formula is simple: A bumbling, selfish oaf of a husband inexplicably married to a hot but somewhat bitchy wife. Since the inception of these two very popular television shows, copycat versions of the formula have cropped up as televised Johnny-Come-Lately's because, hey, in TV, when you find a product that works, why not drive it into the ground until we all want to tear our eyeballs out or, much worse, read a book? We can see this in The Simpsons and Family Guy as well, but given that they're animation and were set before the trend curve, I think we can forgive them.

It's not just sitcoms, either. Be it the devastatingly amusing AXE deodorant spray commercials where the women are literally throwing themselves at men sporting the fragrance, to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy where a gaggle of hip gay fellows take a boorish, hygiene and fashion deficient male and teach him that constantly obsessing over his looks and wearing clothes that cost as much as the Gross National Product of Georgia will make his girlfriend happy, we are beset on all sides by the pussification of the American male.

Don't misunderstand; there's absolutely nothing wrong with cleaning your semen and beard-shavings-encrusted bathroom every once in awhile, or actually ironing your clothes as opposed to spraying cologne on a torn t-shirt you pulled out from underneath a moldy towel, but television and advertisers may have gone over the edge here. What these sitcoms, reality shows and adverts are telling todays man is "forget about any actual personal growth; you can buy your way into being desirable while acting like a self-absorbed, emotionally stunted adolescent. Doesn't that sound nice?"

In the 50's the classic example of a man was a dude in a suit that came home expecting a cold martini and dinner on the table, who didn't show his emotions and wouldn't cry if he got his penis ripped off by an industrial lathe. The view toward women was someone that should be subservient and know her place. Setting aside the horrifying chauvinism for a moment, there were some good points about this mindset, including a paradoxical sense of chivalry, honor, and doing whatever you had to do to take care of your family. That is, when you weren't out chasing strange and telling the wife you had a business meeting.

We tried to change this with the Baby Boomer generation, where males got more in touch with their feminine side and smoked a lot of dope, then gave up their values and decided they'd much rather drive BMWs than actually change the world. Again, there was some good; men and women were viewed as equals and there was at least an attempt to understand the opposite sex and form a deeper, more cohesive bond with your partner. And the rate of divorce skyrocketed because in trying to better understand oneself, a lot of people decided what they really wanted was to do whatever the fuck they pleased, and operated under the illusion that life was supposed to reward you for being born.

Skip ahead to Gen X and Gen Y. What are we trying? Well, it seems, if television and advertising is to be believed, we've decided to take the worst parts of both previous generations and sandwich them together in a sort of cultural abortion of masculinity. We took the chauvinism from the Veteran generation, dumped the values of hard work, honor and family, and combined it with the materialistic "me" mentality of the Boomers, just sort of skipping over the part about emotionally connecting with your partner. Now the ideal is the appearance of a decent specimen of the male gender without any of the actual virtues to go along with it. Men, we're supposed to ensconce ourselves in obsession with our own sexual desires and proclivities, purchase whatever dumb-ass shiny toy catches our fantasy, and tell our wives we're volunteering at the homeless shelter so we can sneak off and play golf with our friends while still appearing not to be royal, worthless shits. In a nutshell: "No need to ever grow up, guys; just stay fifteen forever!"

But don't lose heart, ladies; there is hope on this desolate plain of male moral and ethical depravity. Despite all efforts of the greater advertising community, studies show that most of todays men prefer honest relationships and are more than happy to change poopy diapers and feed the kids, not to mention work jobs they don't like because when youre an adult, you have responsibilities.* To me, the idea of being an adolescent for the rest of my life seems about as appealing as being woken up by having a steaming pile of goat entrails thrown into my face while being repeatedly punched in the testicles with brass knuckles. All is not lost, but it does make one wonder what the legacy of Gen X and Y will be when history writes the chronicles of male/female interaction in the modern world. Until next time, dear male readers, just try not to be such pricks.






*Source: http://thetyee.ca/Life/2006/03/30/GrowingUpToBeBoys/