Any Port in a Storm

2/23/06

The announcement that operations in the ports of Baltimore, New Jersey, New Orleans, New York, Miami and Philadelphia will soon be managed by Dubai Ports World, a company owned by the Middle Eastern country of United Arab Emirates, (UAE) in a $6.8 billion deal makes a great many people nervous. It shouldn't, and it's rather hypocritical that it does, but it's also perfectly understandable. But we're missing the really interesting part of the story. Let's find out why.

Two of the 9/11 hijackers were from the UAE, and the country was previously a major base of financial and logistic operations for al Qaeda. (Now it's Iraq.) They also have a somewhat dodgy record on workers' rights, but they're a far cry better than some other nations that we deal with on a regular basis. (Saudi Arabia, I'm looking in your direction…)

It doesn't make matters any better that the deal was okayed by a hush-hush government panel (you know, the kind that meet in secret rooms lit only by one overhead lamp?) made up of representatives from the departments of Defense, Treasury, State and Homeland Security, among others. I bet there's a lot of cool, film-noir cigar smoke lazily curling through the air in their meetings.

Americans are notoriously mistrusting of committees and projects that are veiled in curtains of secrecy, but on the Oswald Meter, this one ranks a 2, just ahead of The Super Secret Society to Keep Pee-Wee Herman Down. You know, the SSSKPWH.

Frankly, this whole affair is a bit of an overreaction. Something like 30 percent of the ports in the US are foreign-managed and nobody seems to have kicked up much dander until now. Simply put it's different this time because it's a Middle Eastern country. UAE is one of the countries in the region who is a major supporter of America's efforts in the "war on terror," such that it is. In short, they're friendlies. It's at best hypocritical to say that we want fair trade and opportunities for the global economy and then get leery when one of those interests turns out to be from around the Fertile Crescent. At worst it's reactionary and mildly racist. Whether we want foreign interests managing our ports in the first place is another question entirely; it's in the same vein as whether we want the Japanese to continue to dominate the electronics and wide-eyed cartoon children market.

No security protocols are going to be managed by Dubai Ports World, and no workers are going to be displaced. Our ports will still be overseen by Homeland Security in the same piss-poor manner to which we have become accustomed. Only 5 percent of the cargo boxes will still be inspected and workers with access to sensitive areas still won't have to carry ID cards. We'll be just as unsafe after the UAE acquisition as we are now, but nobody seems to focus on that aspect of it.

No, ladies and gentlemen, the real reason this is garnering such a reaction is in direct correlation with the society of fear that the Bush administration has worked so hard to engender. If they wants to trot out the "war on terror," an arbitrary color alert system that no one understands, and the 9/11 pony to push through every policy, defend possibly illegal wiretaps, and justify the hemorrhaging national debt then they have no right to be surprised when the flipside blows up in their faces. (How many metaphors was that, three?)

Bush has made this country's citizens so piss-scared of a man in a turban popping out of their Cheerios with a pipe bomb strapped to his genitals that it's no wonder the country freaks out whenever a fairly mellow (mellow for the Middle East, anyway) company owned by UAE wants to purchase management over six of our busiest ports. Bush has made simple, dumbest-common-denominator answers the hallmark of his administration ("the terrorists hate our freedom!") and America has eaten it up with gusto. So don't fucking cry to me whenever America hears "Arab country buys American ports" and their knee-jerk reaction is to soil themselves.

And anther thing, Mr. President; get off your high horse of indignation about Congress wanting to hold meetings about blocking the purchase. They can ask whatever they want; it's their right. Remember how Congress used to have some power over the Executive Branch, Dubya?

I don't blame the uproar completely on the Bush administration. The Democrats have their hot little hands in this one, too. After spending five years as the Republican's whipping boy and with anorexic power bases in Congress, The Supreme Court and amongst themselves, the Democrats are going to latch onto anything that even remotely damages the president. I don't blame them, but it's unfortunate, because this is really a non-issue.

Whenever Bush sells the Statue of Liberty to Saudi Arabia in exchange for some of their sweet, sweet black gold, then you can get your panties in a twist. Until then just hold on as this roller coaster barrels out of control for another three years. I distract myself with liquor…and prostitutes.

And heroin…